Hi everyone! I said I would write some more about working with disability. Well, last week I started a new job at my Student’s Union. It’s really good in terms of how useful I feel doing this job and spending my time on it. However, now I feel constantly busy, and it’s really worrying me.
What I mean by this is that despite the job being enjoyable, it really takes a lot of energy from me and a lot of time from me. Since I started the job, I’ve really struggled to motivate myself to relax properly, and I have struggled to write essays alongside doing the work. I still have one essay that I need to finish – but I have work today and tomorrow, and I am honestly scared about how I am going to fit everything else in the current timeframe.
I think it’s important to talk about how individuals who struggle with their disability may struggle with even ‘simple’ tasks or enjoyable tasks because it’s honestly more about energy, time, organisation, and motivation. This may put us in a heightened stress which then makes it harder and harder the longer it continues on.
Now, I’m scared. This morning and last night I received so many emails that I need to address when I get to work and my fight or flight response is strongly leaning towards flight. I feel like it would so much easier for me to just run away, or completely switch off.
But alas, I must persist. I do not get the choice to not work – not at the moment. Thanks for reading.
I had to quit this job for my mental health. Read about it here, if you want.